One of the most difficult spiritual disciplines in life is to accept the things we cannot change. Even in cases of events or circumstances that we can change, the discipline of radical acceptance helps us to discern change and find the patience needed to make it happen.
The term “radical acceptance” is used by many Buddhists to refer to the practice of sitting with your situation as it is and feeling your emotions as they are.
The interesting thing about our emotions is that if we just let them be, rather than pushing them away or fighting them, their lifespan is fairly short. Spiritual directors are trained to help their mentors accept their emotions, whether they are unwanted and difficult emotions or pleasant, life-affirming emotions. Many spiritual directors practice radical acceptance with their clients without even knowing the name.
The ancient practice I share here is taken from therapist Tara Brach's excellent book on the subject, Radical Acceptance, and can be practiced alone, in a group, or in a spiritual direction session.
To do this practice, find a quiet place. Set aside all distractions and take a few deep breaths. Relax. Think of a situation in your life where you are struggling. Ask yourself, “How am I feeling about this?” Name the emotion and allow yourself to experience it without judgment. Breathe into it. Accept it. Notice how it feels in your body. Where is this emotion? In the midst of experiencing this emotion, connect with your longing to be held in unconditional love. Visualize an image of a spiritual figure who embodies unconditional love for you. Ask this Divine Being to be with you. Bring your attention to your heart and allow the Divine Being to hold you and envelop you in love. Stay in this loving embrace until it is deeply etched in your memory. You can return to this embrace whenever you feel vulnerable or overwhelmed by emotions. Conclude your spiritual practice by expressing gratitude to the Divine Being for the gift of radical acceptance.
I doubt that anyone who regularly practices radical acceptance would say it's easy, but it's an essential practice for maturing on your spiritual journey. When practiced regularly, you may find that life's difficulties seem less shocking and that you bounce back from disappointments more quickly than if you were refusing to accept reality.
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