Breathe Of Heaven

Journeying Through Grief: Energy Medicine Tools for Letting Go

Andrea Torrey Bulsara

For those of us who have experienced deep trauma, inner peace is elusive. The aftereffects of trauma leave us feeling small and alone, trapped in sadness, anger, and despair. I grew up with undiagnosed PTSD, where the trauma was deeply rooted, and only remembered being sexually abused by a trusted family friend at age 5 when I was in my early 20s. I had all the hallmarks of sexual abuse: violent nightmares, bizarre behavior, suicidal thoughts, and eating disorders, but back in the 70s, no one understood what these symptoms meant. I sought solace through spirituality, writing, and illustration, and discovered energy medicine about 5 years ago. It's been a decades-long journey of learning how to release deep grief from my body.

When we lose something important, whether it's a loved one or, in my case, the innocence of childhood, it's hard to let go. Grief coats every part of us with dust, smothering the joy, light and color, turning life into a bleak and gray place.

How do we release it?

First, we have to want to release the grief. Grief, like any emotion, can become part of our identity, and sometimes it feels safer to be comfortable with it than to face the unknown that is healing. But once you're ready to muster the courage to take that first step, there are some things you can do to make it easier. Here's an exercise I do:

Neurovascular Pressing: When grief weighs heavily on me, the first thing I do is allow myself to feel it. But to help me move through it, I place one hand on my forehead and the other on the top of my head. These areas access the neurovascular points that store emotions. Pressing lightly in these areas while breathing deeply allows the energy to flow.

When a wave of sadness comes over you, hold your hands together and breathe into them. Gradually, the intensity will subside and the energy will shift. At this point, I often feel an intense heat, which, although uncomfortable, means stagnant energy is being released. When it subsides, feel the energy pulsating between your hands like a spinning disk. It's okay if you don't feel this. There are many other signs that the energy has moved on. Some people yawn, others sigh. Look for your body's unique way of releasing. In energy medicine, sadness is thought to be stored in the lungs, so as the sadness moves on, you may find yourself breathing deeper than you've probably done in a long time. Hold your hands for a moment longer and feel your lungs expand and inhale beautiful, healing air.

“Lung hug”: Another technique I use is to cross your arms in front of your chest. Place your fingers under your armpits and your thumbs on the “arm crease” where your arms meet your chest. Using firm pressure, massage along your armpits and arm creases. These areas surround the beginning of the Lung meridian and the end of the Spleen meridian. The Spleen meridian is a self-care meridian. These points often feel painful because of blocked energy. Rub these areas as deeply as you can while breathing, trying not to bruise. (If you have pain from other reasons such as injury, or if this doesn't feel right for you, listen to your body. Even just consciously holding the area without pressure can be surprisingly effective.) You can then sit in this position, called the “lung hug,” and meditate, watch TV, or do nothing. A crossover pattern (crossing your arms in this case) on your chest helps to move energy.

Heart Visualization: Along with the lungs, the heart also carries sadness. As most of us know, the heart can hurt. But we forget that the heart can also heal. When I feel heavy with sadness, I place my hands over my chest and breathe in. With each inhale, I visualize taking in light and feel my heart lift and lighten. And with each exhale, I visualize my heart radiating light out into the world. Inhale light and exhale light.

Activating Joy: The simplest exercise I do to activate joy is smiling. When sadness eats at me, I take a deep breath, smile from the bottom of my heart, and visualize it spreading throughout my body. If the sadness is too deep to smile at first, I make a list of things I am grateful for. As I breathe, find my smile, and make a list, the heaviness melts away. A genuine smile activates the Radiant Circuit, an energy system related to joy, connection, and healing. To smile even more, draw a heart over your heart with both hands, from your sternum to your navel, as many times as you need. Drawing a heart on your heart, on your face, or around your surroundings as a giant heart activates the Bridge Flow, a specific Radiant Circuit that reconnects us to our true selves and to others.

Root and touch the heavens: Walking barefoot outside can be a quick way to clear the fog of sadness. Stand on grass or sand and wiggle your toes to feel the earth beneath your feet. (If walking barefoot isn't an option, use an inexpensive metal spoon (not silver) to vigorously rub the soles of your feet.) To further connect, rub your hands together and place them on your thighs, imagining energy moving through your feet and rooting deep into the earth. As you inhale, raise your arms above your head to form a “V.” This pose is called “heaven surging” and draws replenishment energy into your body. When you feel full, place your hands over your heart.

Finding the Gifts in Grief: To find inner peace, we must recognize that we are more than our sorrows and past experiences. We are conscious beings on the brink of a new way of living. I believe that in every wound there is a hidden gift that can lead us to our higher self. What gifts can grief give us? Among them are greater compassion for ourselves and others, the ability to feel deep joy, and the desire to live with purpose. Grief has much to give us if we can accept it and let it go. Even though difficult days will still come, enduring joy can be our companion on the journey through grief.

Bio:

Children's author and illustrator Andrea Torrey Balsara (who writes for young adults as AT Balsara) will release the second edition of her award-winning YA novel, The Great & the Small, in September 2024. Available for pre-order, the edition tells her personal journey from darkness to light through the eyes of her protagonist. In addition to writing and illustrating, Andrea also gives presentations in schools and motivational speeches. She is currently working towards becoming a certified Eden Energy Medicine Practitioner and is pursuing a Reiki Master. Her energy medicine work spans both humans and animals, and she volunteers at a donkey sanctuary where she helps rehabilitate sick and abused donkeys. For more information about Andrea's books, speaking engagements, and energy medicine resources, please visit www.torreybalsara.com. Connect with her on Instagram (@andreatorreybalsara), X (@torreybalsara), LinkedIn (AndreaTorreyBalsara), and Facebook (Andrea Torrey Balsara, Author & Illustrator).