Snitch #160 – Tough Love – 2

Learned helplessness occurs when people become so exhausted by repeated failures or uncontrollable hardship that they begin to believe that they are powerless to change their circumstances, even when opportunities for change present themselves.

Columnist Steve Lopez agreed. Los Angeles Times. He felt stuck in life. His marriage was in trouble and he was disillusioned with his job. Fed up with the constant talk about the city's homelessness, Lopez decided to start over by shining a light on the crisis through in-depth reporting. He started by walking down Skid Row in Los Angeles. Lopez was led away by a man playing a broken violin and stopped to talk to him. Their subsequent relationship inspired the book and film The Soloist. Critics largely praised the film, but the public, who had hoped for a happier, or at least less ambiguous, ending, did not like the film. That alone was enough to make me want to see it.

The man on the street turns out to be Nathaniel Ayers, a talented musician who suffers from schizophrenia and is no stranger to helplessness. I used his real name because he wants this story told (in the movie he is played by Jamie Foxx and Steve Lopez is played by Robert Downey Jr.). By pure coincidence, Ayers grew up in the Hough neighborhood of Cleveland, a short distance from where I live. (Remembering this story makes me uneasy. It reminds me of dark days when I worked in the inner city and lived at home with young people from the same neighborhood who became like family.)

Despite his struggles on the streets (including racist abuse), Ayers displayed remarkable musical talent, a deep passion for music, and extensive knowledge of the classical repertoire. His natural talent was evident during his days as a double bass student at The Juilliard School, where he showed potential to join top orchestras and subsequently developed the ability to play multiple instruments despite limited training. I demonstrated it.

Ayers made a living off the generosity of strangers by playing any instruments he could find, including trumpets, cellos, and violins, even if they were broken or in poor condition, carrying them in his shopping cart.

Lopez arranged for the donation of a new cello on the condition that Nathaniel live in a protective group home, play and receive clinical assistance. During his stay at the facility, Nathaniel was forced to take medication to treat his schizophrenia, but he resisted treatment and eventually fled to the streets. (A famous poem by Janis Joplin came to mind: “Freedom is another word for having nothing to lose.” A few days later, she died of a heroin overdose.) Lopez refused protective care, so she paid for new clothes, food, and an apartment. . Nathaniel rebuked him and assaulted him.

Lopez was undaunted. He arranged for Nathaniel to attend an orchestra rehearsal to showcase his talent. Frightened by the noise and angry at the pressure to perform, Nathaniel punches the concert organizer.

Nathaniel's passion for music was more urgent than medical needs, living off the streets, or pleasing new friends. All Lopez could do was be with Nathaniel right now. Steve discovers an old cassette player and Barber's tapes in Nathaniel's apartment. Adagio for string orchestra. To my surprise, the tape still worked. As it began to flow, Nathaniel fell silent and sat rigid. Relaxing, he almost smiled. For a while, his illness seemed to go away. Steve watched him quietly, and he himself became engrossed in the music. He doubted the importance of his help and knew that Nathaniel would always have a hard time, but he also knew that in some way he would always have his own music. All Lopez could do was not leave. His silence spoke volumes.

Somehow, despite the instability of the whole situation, Nathaniel and Steve's bond grew stronger. Their closeness is still strong in real life. Music continues to be a source of joy and inspiration for Nathaniel.

Beyond the movie, audiences would have understood what happened in the end. Steve's column about homelessness, and more specifically about homeless men, inspired the publication of the book and financial support for Nathaniel. Soon after, Nathaniel began receiving the help he needed and found a job. He forgot his helplessness. So was Steve Lopez.

With public support, Nathaniel's sister established a foundation in his name, which aims to support artistically gifted people with mental difficulties. Ayers, 74, currently lives in a residential care facility in Long Beach, California. His music career continues to grow and he is active in Long Beach. Although not all aspects of his life have been resolved and he continues to face significant challenges, the impact of Lopez's advocacy goes far beyond what is dramatized on screen.

Steve Lopez and Nathaniel Ayers don't describe their story as one of courage and compassion. To paraphrase their own words, they might say it's like falling hopelessly in love when nothing makes sense.

“Maybe the world ends here.'' Joy Harjo is onto something. “We sing of joy and sorrow. We pray of suffering and repentance. We give thanks.”

Speaking separately, Harjo said: “I heard an alto saxophonist jamming on the street. He said to me, 'I make a living on small hopes.' . . ” There’s something about a lone horn player playing ballads in the corners of our lives. ”

notes and reading

The Soloist music video (One Thing of Beauty)

About Nathaniel Ayers Foundationthere are more photos of Nathaniel.

Listen to the music: Memoirs from a soloist sister – Jennifer Ayers Moore (2nd edition, 2020). One reader says:listen to music A gift for those who have a loved one suffering from mental illness and want to understand how they feel. Please read it. ”

sovereignty of good – Iris Murdoch (2001/Kindle). Although not for the faint of heart, it is a must-read for anyone interested in moral thought. She was a Platonist and affirmed “good” rather than “God.” Due to his Anglican background, Murdoch was drawn to the Catholic Church's emphasis on ritual, mystery, and tradition, but did not convert because he felt the church's emphasis on sin and guilt was unhealthy and counterproductive.

“The only true way to be good is to be good “without meaning'' in a situation where everything “natural,'' including one's own mind, is subject to chance, or necessity. “Being good has nothing to do with purpose.” ” – From Chapter 2 of “On 'God' and 'Goodness'” sovereignty of good. (emphasis added)

soloist – Nathaniel Ayers and Steve Lopez embody the concept of “good for nothing.” Nathaniel He wasn't playing music to become famous, make money, or impress others. he was playing because he loves music It's part of who he is. When Steve wrote about Ayers, he was not motivated by personal gain or professional recognition. He learned about Ayer and his story and felt he had to share it. Steve and Nathaniel were close not because it helped, but simply because it was true.

Iris Murdoch and Others: Writers in Dialogue with Theology – Paul S. Fides (Oxford), 2023. Murdoch and various philosophers, theologians, and writers, including Meister Eckert, Simone Weil, Bonhoeffer, Derrida, Kristeva, Gerald Manley Hopkins, and others.

Joy HarjoConflict Resolution for Sacred Beings: Poetry (2015). Harjo was the 23rd U.S. Poet Laureate from 2019 to 2022, the first Native American to hold that honor. He was the second person to serve three consecutive terms.

(virginia woolf – in a 1926 essay About the diseaseVirginia Woolf observed that illness transforms us from “soldiers in the army of the righteous” to “deserters.” But this retreat hides unexpected joys. Freed from the “vertical toil of the masses,” we “go to and fro with the falling leaves,” and are finally able to “look around and look up, for example at the sky,” and marvel at it. You can. to change shape or color. someone should write times about it. “)

Snitch $159 – Tough Love – 1

Approximately 2 + 2 = 5: https://williamgreen.substack.com/about

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