A common question many spiritual directors ask after listening to their clients describe a difficult situation in their life is, ‘Where is God for you?’ I don’t like to ask this question because I believe that’s probably why the person came for spiritual direction: to search for God’s presence in the midst of chaos and confusion, which can be difficult to do alone.
A New Perspective
What spiritual leaders can help is to invite those we lead to see situations differently. In her review of Spiritual Leadership in Judaism: An Innovative Guide from Traditional and Contemporary Sources, edited by Howard Avram Addison and Barbara Eve Breitman, spiritual leader Anne Sussman was impressed by Addison's writing on “reciprocal grace.” Rather than limiting the concept of grace to the Christian understanding of it being given to humans as a free gift from God, Addison wants us to see it as a flow from God to us and back again, something that actually transforms God. Rather than asking, “Where is God for you,” Sussman prefers to ask, “Where are you for God?” Turning this question around can lead to new understandings.
Where are you for God?
This question is based on the premise that we are co-creators with God. Our real life situations, even if they are confusing, are where we find ultimate meaning and purpose. We might be in the following situations:
Waiting for God to show up Not wanting to have anything to do with God at this time Feeling powerless and needing courage Doing my best Seeking wisdom Seeking comfort
So in addition to looking for God in the world, we can look at the world as God’s creation (God is already here) and notice how we show up in it, and we can look for that reciprocal grace.
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